Supporting Adult Calm
12/28/2025
Adults play a critical role in helping children regulate, but we’re human too. When stress is high, routines are disrupted, and expectations pile up, as they often do during busy seasons, adult nervous systems become overloaded. In these moments, staying calm is not a matter of willpower; it is a matter of support. When adults are dysregulated, children sense it immediately, often responding with increased emotional or behavioral reactions of their own…notice the kiddos acting a little differently this time of year?
One of the most important things adults can do is recognize their early signs of escalation. Tight shoulders, a raised voice, short responses, or the urge to “just make it stop” are signals that the adult nervous system needs attention. Rather than pushing through or ignoring these signs, we can slow their bodies first. Grounding their feet, lowering their voice, or taking one steady breath alongside the children helps reset the moment. These strategies can be done openly and calmly, modeling healthy regulation.
Equally important is repair. No adult stays calm all the time, and children do not need that. What they need is to see adults acknowledge hard moments and reconnect afterward. Simple repairs such as, “That was a tough moment. I’m still here,” teach children that relationships remain safe even when emotions run high. Over time, this builds trust, emotional security, and resilience for both children and adults. Regulation is about repeatedly returning to connection.
